The Army Navy Game

Some time ago I responded to a domestic in a shit hole Indian housing project. Yum-yum, home on leave Navy ass pirate, decided to prove his love to his mom by smacking her around. I show up and find yum-yum on the floor with a self inflicted, superficial, knife wound on his throat. Crying like the first time he was ass pounded aboard ship. I ask for the knife and get directed up stairs. Next thing I know yum-yum is running. I toss the dull kitchen blade under my squad and leg it out in pursuit.

This guy has a good head start but now enters one of the laws of life; You can out run the law, but you can't out run the Infantry. I am just about on him when he turns a corner around a house and lunges out at me. He gets thrown down and then Piss-Pounded Proper. I thump this guy hard. Just as the cuffs come out to secure for the ride, my partner shows up. All 6'4" 300 lbs of angry Norwegian you could ever hope for. He is at full stride and leaves the ground about 10' from the yum-yum. Landing knee first on the swabbies back I watch as this guys rib cage compresses to 1/2 its normal thickness. Cool.

Long story short; I call the USS Nimitz at 0230 local time and wake up some 0-5 (not sure what that is in the Navy). He apologizes for his sailors actions.

Moral of the Story: Army-1, Navy-0

The Flying Burrito

So, two weeks ago I respond to this medical call. Some lady decided it was time to take all of her pills at once and end all of the pain, yada, yada, yada. Anyway, we are close so my partner and I haul ass on over. I pull into the yard, grab the O2 from the trunk and run to the house. Problem: the deck is really slick from the rain. At combat speed I slip and pile into the steps. That is OK though, for I used my elbow to break my fall. A little worse for wear and now very pissed, it is on to the house. Can't use the O2, broke the regulator on impact (always knew I was tougher than emergency medical gear). Got to get heart start pads on her, got to see her nasty boobs. No pulse, do my best to break all of her ribs. Lots of fun. Partner names my acrobatics; The Flying Burrito (Deputies wear brown and I was flying or something).

So, this week, we find John Q shit bag that needs to be arrested for breaking stuff. I dealt with this yum-yum when I worked in the jail and greatly missed his...never mind, I have wanted to Abu-Grabe torture this peter-pumper for a long time. Now we find him getting into a car. Hiding in the woods I draw my pistol, break cover, and run to about 8ft away before yelling at him to get down. He sees the gun in his face and screams like a bitch. I move in to put him down and promptly trip on his bags. Fuck, now he is running. I get up quick but my partner has got him under control.

Moral of the story is; don't fall down.

The End

Getting Started

This blog will be more of a war story and bullshit posting site. I have some stories I would like to record for myself and others, kind of like a diary but not that gay. I will change the names, to protect the operators, but I will not lie. If you want to add your spin, side or bullshit feel free. If you don't like what I have to say, I will express my views, that is just fine. Just don't fucking whine. If you disagree with something and it get out of line, I will certainly meet you in an undisclosed location. Explain my point of view, why you are fucked, and then whip your silly tinker-bell ass.

Johnny Rooke