The Chase

Routine patrol on a comfortable summer evening. I see a pickup parked on the road up ahead. Then the backup lights come on. This dope backs, swerves, and backs again stopping across the center line. Must be drunk. Better light him up and have a chat. Hit the cherries and give the siren a squawk. Pickup hesitates and then hangs a hard right down a dirt road. The chase is on. Lights are flashing siren is wailing and the adrenaline kicks in. Then a problem becomes apparent; this guy can hardly keep the truck from going off the road at a mear 35mph. The rig swerves wildly from side to side narrowly missing trees. This continues for about a mile before the dope pulls into a drive way and stops. I cut the siren and step out to do a felony take down. Besides the dope driving there are 2 passengers. Driver comes our first. The dope looks like a blueberry. Full Canadian tuxedo and he is round, has to be over 4 bills. Calling the fat man back I get him in position for the cuffs. First problem arises, can't get his fat arms together behind him. So I cuff in front, don't have a choice but always hate doing it. Now second problem, this fat dope will never fit in my Crown Vic. So I get a little momentum and stuff him in. The fit is so tight I am afraid that I will never get him out. He tests over .20 BAC, a gross misdemeanor, tack on the fleeing and fat dope is looking at some jail time. However, he gets a plea bargain misdemeanor DWI charge and nothing else. You have to love small town justice.