"Multi-Phasic"

She had an active warrant for a bad check or something. I hooked her up and was bringing her in but that isn't why she had such an odd expression on her face in my rear view mirror. It was me, I was making her nervous. Apparently this gal was not used to being chauffeured by a guy that has his right foot on the accelerator, left knee steering, left hand holding the hand mic, and right hand scribbling notes for the next call. Then, on top of all this, looks up to the rear view mirror to check on his prisoner. My old FTO called it being "mulit-phasic". He was a Marine, God help me, but often spoke of the need for a law dog to do multiple things at the same time. So, no shit there I was; pulling away from a Holiday gas station, clipping my seat belt, holding a cup of coffee between my legs, and talking on the radio when I spill. Turning to check over my shoulder the lid pops off of my straight black Holiday brew. The molten liquid runs down the inside of both thighs and makes a B-Line for my A-Hole. Holly shit this is Hot! I do some hip thrusts and manage not to cause an accident. Lucky for me home was only 4 blocks away. I make it there without sitting back down.

Moral of the story: use the cup holder.